Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
