you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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