have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize