5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
