you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
