I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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