so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
