Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
