Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
