the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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