Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
