Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
