I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
im holly from the hills drunk
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
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