i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I love having hate sex.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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