I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Randomize
