the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
