sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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