well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I hope mine doesn't look like that
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
