I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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