It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm having to shit out rocks
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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