Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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