My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
