So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
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He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
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you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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