Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
