Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
