yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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