There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I think people are normalizing furries
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize