When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i out mim tonsoeep
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
