Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
