so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Drake has all the answers
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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