He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize