You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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