I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
