Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
