Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
