He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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