how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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