butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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