just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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