Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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