I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
