you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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