come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
