What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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