i just google imaged poop.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
