But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i out mim tonsoeep
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
