I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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