Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Welp...herpes.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
