YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize