so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
