my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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