im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
well I can't set my house on fire every night
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
