Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
