I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
