is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
