dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
