My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
