filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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