after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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