went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
