at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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