what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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