Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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