Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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