I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
