Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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