Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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