I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
