I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
