turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
When are your genitals available?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
