turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize