i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize