can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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