Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
